The Big "I"

Parental Guidance Required 

The Big “I”

Nothing has a greater impact on your child’s life then the relationship with their parent

What am I doing to enhance my child’s relationship with myself as a parent?

As adults we know there are three things that have had a profound impact on us

• Our relationships
• The choices we’ve made
• The things we’ve experienced

The trend of culture is to make our kids experience rich and relationship poor.

Are we spending too much time running them places then we are spending quality time with them?

The Two Biggest Things at Stake

1.  When it matters most, the quality of your relationship with your children will determine the weight of your influence.

• As parents, we should want to have influence on our children throughout their entire lives.
• A great temptation to parenting is to parent from “size and position”, meaning that as the parent we are bigger and in charge and we can make them do something.
• To avoid this there has to be a quick and smooth transition to establishing strong relationships to influence them into making decisions.
• Being right doesn’t equal influence.

Ephesians 6:4 (The verse is addressed to fathers, but the principle can be applied by mothers as well.)
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 

2.  Your relationship with your children will impact the quality of their future relationships.

• Investing in the relationship of your child can influence every relationship they have for the rest of their lives.
• Investing in the relationship of your child directly influences your child’s emotional health.
• Investing in the relationship of your child can also greatly influence their moral choices. 

The Two Things it Takes to Have a Great Relationship With Your Child

1. They want to feel accepted.
2. They have to have your time.

Once Influence in the Relationship is Lost

• There is only one way back in.
• It’s to serve your way back in.
• This can take a lot of time and there is no guarantee it will work.

Here is a link to all the sermons on North Point's online store.  Click here to go to the store.

Post Revolve Questions

Throughout Revolve weekend the theme for the students was to fight for a relationship with their parents.  They were challenged to realize that they have an opportunity to be intentional with the way they are with you and that they should do everything they can to build an intentional relationship with you.  On the flip side of this we as a student ministry would like to challenge you to fight for a relationship with your student.  You as a parent have the biggest opportunity to build into their lives.  Now that Revolve is over though we'd like to give you some questions that you can ask them about the weekend.  Don't just stop with the questions we're giving you, but begin to invest in them in other ways throughout the week.  If you ever have questions feel free to come and talk with myself, Brian or Sharon.  We'd love to be a part of partnering with you in a way that is being intentional to bring your student into a closer relationship with Christ and with you!

Follow Up Questions:
What was the highlight of the weekend?
We know the weekend was focused around our relationship, what are some things we can do to connect more?
How can I best support you?
Is there an old or recent wound that I have done to you that we need to talk about? 
Can you tell me a time that I did a reall good job showing you how much I love you so that I can understand how you feel loved?

Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

Parental Guidance Required

Part 2: Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

No one has more potential to influence your child’s heart for God then you do as a parent.

Proverbs 3:5-6

1.  What do I want them to become?
Their hope can be found in the front of that verse.

(3:5)Trust in the Lord ...

(3:5)with all your heart ...

(3:5)and lean not on your own understanding ...

2.  Where are they now (spiritually)?
Often times it’s easier to worry about our kids physical well being then it is to worry about their spiritual well being.

(3:6)in all your ways acknowledge him ...

 3.  How can I help them take the next step?
Knowing where they are spiritually will help you in guiding them towards the next step in their walk with Christ.

(3:6)and he will make your paths straight.

 For us to really know where our child’s spiritual lives are dialed into, we often have to figure out where are spiritual lives are as well.

If we can recognize these things in our own lives and make adjustments then we can better help our kids understand their own lives.

Here is a link to all the sermons on North Point's online store.  Click here to go to the store.

Pre-Revolve Weekend Thoughts for Parents

I've been praying and preparing for Revolve Weekend a lot lately!  This weekend is going to be an incredible time of worship, fun, and growth in the lives of students.  If you were able to make the parent meeting on Sunday then you heard that Steve Frissell will be speaking at the weekend and will be teaching on the relationship between students and parents.  This made me think of an awesome series Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner did at North Point Community Church a few years back.  If you're interested in downloading the sermons you can follow the link here and download the sermons for only $1.  Here are some points from the first sermon though.

Parental Guidance Required

Part 1: Questions Every Parents Should Ask
Our culture can often lead us to believe that our children should be experience rich and relationally poor.  Instead we should look to drive our students to be relationship rich and experience poor.

The reason we should do this is that most of our big life experiences and choices are impacted by the relationships we are in and not necessarily the experience around it.

The three biggest relationships that can shape who we are as a person are our relationships with our parents, your relationship or lack of relationship with God, and the relationships with people outside of your home.

We cannot control the experiences that our students have with other people as much as we can control the relationship they have with us as parents, their relationship with God, or their relationships with certain friends. 

Ephesians 6:4 - Parent child relationships
Parent/child relationships long term are more about influence then they are about control.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Childs relationship with God
Teach our kids to surrender their lives to God.

Proverbs 13:20 - Childs relationships with others out of the home
Whether you realize it or not you are already influencing them in these three ways already ...

Here are the three questions we can always be asking ourselves about our children:

What are you doing to enhance your child’s relationship with you?

1. What am I doing to enhance my child’s relationship with you?
2. What am I doing to advance my child’s relationship with God?
3. What am I doing to influence my child’s relationship with people outside the home?

Here is a link to all of the sermons on the North Point Store web site.  Click Here